How to Build Trust

by Emese

Their size and quality are also connected. If one increases, the other two also increase. If one decreases, the other two also decrease. You cannot separate them. You may succeed for a moment, but not in the long run.

Affinity

Let's look at the vertices. Affinity. Or love, if you prefer. Its essence is the same, namely the distance between you and the given thing, person. If you love someone or something, you want them to be near you, and as often as possible.

Have you ever noticed, for example, how many times in a month you wear your favorite clothes and how many times the ones that are not so favorite? Or when you are in love and you are still at the beginning of your relationship, you spend every minute together, cooking and baking, you don't want to let go for a moment.

This is valid on a physical level. Spiritually, distance doesn't matter, because there is the knowledge, the certainty that you love and he loves you, and even if he is on the other side of the world, he is with you spiritually.

Reality

Reality. Or reality, or the way things are. You look at a table, and since you have learned that it is a table, you know that it is a table. And you also know that the other person knows that it is a table. Because you have both learned the same thing about it. That's how you will understand each other when, for example, you talk about a table.

But if you went out to a nomadic tribe and took a laptop with you and carelessly left it there while you went to the bush to use the toilet, by the time you came back they might be frying eggs or cutting up chickens on it. For them, a laptop wouldn't be realistic, it wouldn't be real. They would probably throw it away or bury it after one use, because it is a non-existent thing for them, which they cannot use.

Or you may have observed the older generation, how some people shy away from smartphones because it is not realistic for them. For example, my grandmother is turning 87, and we wanted to give her a mobile phone so that when she goes out into the garden and accidentally gets sick, she can call for help.

We couldn't convince her to buy a smartphone, or even a stone-age push-button mobile phone, because the phone is so unrealistic for her. She can barely tolerate a landline.

Communication

Communication. This is a bit broader than speech, because communication means the exchange of particles between two points. The best known is speech, but there are a million other types. Just think about it, if you look at a flower, you immediately see its color and shape, meaning you have received information (particles) from it. This is also communication.

But also when you pet a dog. Because from petting you know (let's say your eyes are closed) whether the dog is short-haired or long-haired, whether it is well-groomed or not. We can get information in many different ways, and it is all communication.

Understanding

And how is this triad connected? Very simply. If you love someone, you tell them everything, you tell them kindly, let's say you love them because you have the same hobbies, so you speak the same language, that is, your reality is the same. There is great ARC, harmony between you, you easily understand each other, you can talk about everything. By the way, ARC together represents understanding.

All three components are needed for understanding. Many quarrels arise from the fact that one of the factors is missing. Or the reality, that for example the other person does not know what happened or cannot accept that, for example, they have to work so much overtime. Or the communication goes wrong, that is, one person says something, but the other person understands something completely different. That way, there will be no understanding.

You need to put the slipped element in place, for example, you need to give reality to what happened, or you need to explain what you were thinking exactly, and there will be no more fighting.

If you have any questions, or just want to share your opinion or comments, feel free to do so in the comment section, I would be happy to receive them.

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Thanks.

Friendly,

Emese